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Joseph Weller

Changed your mindset recently?

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Changing your mindset is not as easy as it sounds. Changing your mind is easy. If you don't fancy chicken for dinner any more, you choose cheese instead. If you don't like the shoes that looked so good when you bought them, you take them back to exchange them. It's no big deal. There are no repercussions. It takes very little thought and very littl...
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Joseph Weller

How big is your personal space?

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We've all been there. You're on the bus/train and there are lots of empty seats. Someone you don't know gets on and sits on the seat right next to you. You wonder why. You ask yourself, 'wouldn't they rather sit in a nice spacious area with no one cramping their style?' We all have a need for personal space around us – that's the distance we prefer...
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Joseph Weller

Is paruresis (shy bladder syndrome) curable?

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That's the question which everyone who has paruresis wants to know the answer to. There is certainly no easy option. There is no pill you can take which will make it go away, never to return. But don't let that make you feel despondent. There is plenty you can do to make significant improvements to your shy bladder condition so that it no longer do...
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Joseph Weller

Wiser’s Wramblings-I’m Not Shying Away This Time

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A blog writer in a local newspaper in small town USA ponders on his shy bladder issue. Wiser's Wramblings - I'm Not Shying Away This Time: A nice awkward chat about "Shy Bladder Syndrome" https://wellsvillesun.com/blog/2024/03/21/wisers-wramblings-im-not-shying-away-this-time/ 
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Joseph Weller

"Practice makes perfect"

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How often do we hear that phrase? Practice is how we learn to play a musical instrument, throw a bullseye in darts, learn to skate, run faster, jump higher, dance better – the secret behind all these skills is to practice. The more we practice, the better our progress. For anyone who has attended a UK Paruresis Trust shy bladder workshop you'll kno...
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Joseph Weller

Have yourself a stress free Christmas

Have yourself a stress free Christmas
Christmas can be a wonderful time of joy and celebration. Traditionally families get together, children look forward to Santa's visit, and Christians celebrate the nativity – you don't need me to point all this out. You probably also don't need me to point out that some people find Christmas very hard. Family relationships may not be as peaceful as...
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Joseph Weller

UKPT reviews – fake or genuine feedback?

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I recently listened to a podcast, which discussed how trustworthy, or not, online reviews are. According to several consumer organisations, up to 1 in 3 may be fake. As the use of Artificial Intelligence tools becomes more commonplace, it may become even harder to tell genuine reviews from convincing fakes which are designed to mislead the reader. ...
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Joseph Weller

Information prescriptions – the future?

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It's only three and a half years since Covid began and we all said life would never be the same again. We also said we would have to get used to a new normal. But in many ways, life now has already returned to its familiar patterns. Probably faster than most of us imagined it possibly could back in the dark days of early 2020. Day to day health ser...
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Joseph Weller

School toilets – convenient or inconvenient?

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"I've hated public or work toilets ever since school and if I try to pee in one, I can't go". Does this sound familiar to you? This question appeared recently on the "Ask Dr Martin" page of Chat magazine. I suspect that it will sound familiar to many people. Many people who attend our workshops tell us that their problems with paruresis, or shy bla...
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Joseph Weller

Prepare for take-off

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For those lucky enough to be considering a break in the sun, the holiday season is upon us. Many people look forward to this as a time of relaxation and freedom, a break from the everyday routines of life, and a chance to "recharge life's batteries". But for people with paruresis (also called shy bladder syndrome), it can be a time of great stress ...
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Joseph Weller

Give pee a chance: Why German men urinate sitting down

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Would life be easier for men who have shy bladder syndrome (paruresis) if they were all sitzspinklers? According to this article in the BIG THINK it seems there could be positive benefits not only for our bladders but also for the hygiene in our bathrooms if men sat to pee! Many men with paruresis tell us that although they struggle to pee at ...
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Joseph Weller

My experience living with Shy Bladder Syndrome – from there to here

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By a current 3rd year Arts and Humanities NTU student Content warning – This blog mentions substance abuse and suicidal feelings which some readers may find triggering Hello! I'm a third-year humanities student here at NTU and I have Paruresis also known as Shy Bladder Syndrome. Now, If you don't know what this is, then allow me to explain… Parures...
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Joseph Weller

Overthinking

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What if someone hears me pee? What if someone sees me while I'm peeing? What if I keep someone else waiting for the cubicle? What if a queue builds up and other people get annoyed? What if I don't manage to pee at all? What will happen?These are very common thoughts for people who have shy bladder syndrome (paruresis). It might start off as a littl...
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Joseph Weller

Drug and alcohol testing – how to cope when you have shy bladder syndrome

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It's good to see Health organisations recognising how life affecting shy bladder syndrome (aka paruresis) can be. Many thanks to Crystal Health Group Ltd for taking the needs of people with paruresis into consideration. https://www.crystal-health.co.uk/shy-bladder-syndrome-and-urine-drug-testing/https://www.crystal-health.co.uk/shy-bladder-syn...
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Joseph Weller

Very very insightful - Keith’s verdict on his recent virtual workshop experience.

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Evaluation - after end of the Virtual workshop – VIA EMAIL 1. In what scenarios have you performed, that before the workshop would not have been possible? People within 1m proximity. In silence with people hearing. 2. How does your progress you made compare with what you expected to make? It was very, very insightful altogether. My expectations wer...
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Joseph Weller

The Mystery of Mastery

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The well-known American writer, Adam Gopnik, has recently published "The Real Work: On the Mystery of Mastery". It is a personal memoir of skills he mastered later in life and his relationships with his teachers. The chapter entitled "Relieving" deals with Adam learning how to master his paruresis. Listen to him talk a little about this experience....
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Joseph Weller

Are you worried about providing a urine sample?

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Around three quarters of organisations have specific drug and alcohol policies, many of which require employees to undertake a supervised urine test if there is a suspicion that they have been at work under the influence of drugs or alcohol. Or the policies may involve random urine testing. For those with paruresis or shy bladder, these policies ca...
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Joseph Weller

The Guardian - Decades on, I am still traumatised by my visit to the school toilets - February 2023

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https://www.theguardian.com/lifeandstyle/commentisfree/2023/feb/15/decades-on-i-am-still-traumatised-by-my-visit-to-the-school-toilets
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Joseph Weller

Is Peeing Driving You “Spare”?

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Here at UKPT, we often say that shy bladder syndrome has no respect for gender, age, or status. It can happen to anyone – from pauper to prince – quite literally it seems! Prince Harry's recently published book Spare features a passage about an incident that took place on board a yacht in fearsome weather. He badly needed to pee but was struck by w...
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Joseph Weller

The Telegraph - Agony Uncle

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Joseph Weller

Expect the unexpected!

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Life sometimes throws us a curveball. Things can be drifting along, much as they always do, and suddenly circumstances change making you take an unplanned step outside your comfort zone. Maybe a family emergency means you have to make an unplanned long train or plane journey. Maybe you get called to do jury service, or to give evidence in a court c...
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Joseph Weller

Paruresis in Urology Awareness Month

Paruresis in Urology Awareness Month
It's Urology Awareness Month. Compared to the list of many serious and potentially life-threatening urology conditions, is this really the time and place to talk about shy bladder syndrome? I would say yes it is. Shy bladder syndrome, also known as paruresis, may not be life threatening but it can be life-affecting for people who experience it in i...
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Joseph Weller

Pee in the Park

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Macca, Diana Ross, Stereophonics, Pearl Jam, Duran Duran – yes, the music festival season has begun. After two years of no festivals due to Covid, we're all in the mood for some fun in the sun, or the mud, a spot of musical nostalgia, and some relaxation with good friends. But for those of us who live with paruresis it's not that easy. Mention fest...
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Joseph Weller

Annual Report 2021-2022

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Ok, so annual reports are not the most exciting reads. They'll never appear on bestseller lists. But all charities have to report their activities to the Charity Commission annually. And we can provide an interesting short report for the people who use the organisation's services. Or for people who may consider using our services in the future. The...
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Joseph Weller

Conquer your “performance anxiety”

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"Most men, however brave, have some anxiety or fear in them" (Babur)Many men have been expected since their earliest days to be brave. People say "big boys don't cry", "man up", "pull yourself together" and "be a man". We've all heard these sayings countless times ¬– perhaps from parents, perhaps from friends or work colleagues. The message is clea...
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Guest — Andrew Ince
What I find surprising is the lack of any mention on the NHS websites of the condition. Given the estimated numbers with the condi... Read More
Saturday, 30 December 2023 14:39
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Joseph Weller

UKPT website - hit or miss?

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We know that most workshop attendees get their initial information about paruresis and UKPT from our website, so we want to make sure that it offers the best experience possible. With that in mind, we're carrying out a review of our website to give both the public and health professionals the confidence that our information is robust and accessible...
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Joseph Weller

Return to new normal

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Ian Harris, UKPT workshop leader, has some good news for those of you who have been waiting for our shy bladder weekend workshops to restart. 
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Joseph Weller

UK Paruresis Trust gains PIF TICK accreditation to become a ‘trusted information creator’

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UK Paruresis Trust has been awarded the PIF TICK – the UK's only quality mark for print and online health information. To become a 'trusted information creator', UKPT had to undergo an assessment showing it met 10 key criteria. This means you can be assured that what you are reading, watching or listening to is evidence-based, understanda...
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Joseph Weller

Mirror - Man wins £90k after he's sacked over urine sample because he was too shy to wee - March 2022

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https://www.mirror.co.uk/news/uk-news/man-wins-90k-after-sacked-26462614
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Joseph Weller

Let’s talk about shy bladder syndrome

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Student life promises many things - and most of them exciting. For many young people, it marks their first venture into the adult world and all that entails, from living away from your family, to shopping for food, doing your own laundry and, hopefully, enjoying an exciting new social life. But for the estimated 7% of the population who suffer from...
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Joseph Weller

UKPT in the News

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Not many people have heard of paruresis. It's frequently called shy bladder, but even people who have experienced it for many years are often unfamiliar with the word 'paruresis'. It's not surprising then that at UKPT we sometimes find it difficult to get ourselves noticed. Social media has helped a lot. And our website and Google have made it easi...
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Joseph Weller

Silently facing an unmanly thing

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Some men call it 'stage fright'. Many men experience it from time to time – they need to pee, they visit the urinal, but nothing happens. Another day it may be no problem. But for some men, stage fright (aka shy bladder syndrome or paruresis) is a daily fact of life. And a fact which can have devastating effects on their mental health. Social life,...
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Joseph Weller

How can I support a friend or relative living with paruresis?

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Do you have a family member or a friend who has confided in you that they have a social anxiety around using public toilets, often known as shy bladder syndrome or paruresis? If you have, your friend or family member probably really values your friendship as it's not an easy thing to admit to, and they may have agonised long and hard before decidin...
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Joseph Weller

New resources for women

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The notion of public toilet "performance anxiety" is a familiar one to many men, with up to 4 million in the UK saying that they experience shy bladder (paruresis) to some degree. But do women experience shy bladder too? Yes, they do, and we know that it can cause pain, anxiety, restricted lives and depression. But as no figures exist for women, we...
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Joseph Weller

Supporting young people to attend UKPT Workshops

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We welcome people of all ages to our Workshops. Participants frequently range from teenagers (including those under 18) to people in their seventies and beyond. Our youngest participants sometimes come to UKPT through parents, guardians or other adults seeking support on behalf of someone they care about. We asked two parents of participants to sha...
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Joseph Weller

New YouTube videos explain what paruresis is and how to overcome it

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 The UKPT is delighted to endorse a new series of videos which explain what paruresis is and describe what can be done to overcome it. The videos, which can be found on the link below, have been put together by Martin Burridge. Martin is a trained counsellor with experience of working with anxieties and phobias who now works in the space indus...
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Joseph Weller

Paruresis: back to reality

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For some paruresis sufferers lockdown has brought unexpected relief from the persistent worry about where they might find the next toilet they feel safe to use when out and about. Spending most of our time at home, without visitors, means that peeing has become a less-stressful activity, to be carried out with the same lack of concern enjoyed by th...
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Joseph Weller

Women experience paruresis too

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In a new video for our YouTube channel, UKPT Workshop Leader and Trustee Ann speaks frankly about her own experience of paruresis (shy bladder) and challenges the myth that this is a condition which only affects men. Having attended workshops – and now running them – Ann's attitude to the condition has changed dramatically and she says "it doesn't ...
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Joseph Weller

I would never have believed it!

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I have attended several UKPT workshops and thankfully am now able to urinate almost anytime anywhere, for the most part at least. I had an interesting experience a couple months ago. This past academic year I have been doing my last year of law school. The pandemic delayed a few of my exams to August. I was able to sit the exams at home, but the de...
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Joseph Weller

Meet a UKPT Workshop Leader

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Experience tells us that people often hesitate before booking onto UKPT Workshop. Sometimes weeks, months or even years will go by between finding out about the UKPT and attending a Workshop. We are always happy that people do come along when the time is right for them. The feedback we receive after Workshops often mentions the friendly, welcoming ...
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Joseph Weller

Paruresis and COVID-19

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Paruresis is defined as a form of social anxiety which leads to the inability to pee in the actual or perceived proximity to others. You might therefore think that social distancing measures, introduced to slow the spread of the COVID-19 virus, might make things easier for sufferers since we are all being asked to avoid being around others where po...
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Joseph Weller

Nursing Times - Paruresis A Secret Phobia - May 2006

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Joseph Weller

GoLoud - Podcast - October 28th 2019

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Interview starts at 1hr 28mins https://www.goloudnow.com/podcasts/lunchtime-live-85/lunchtime-live-october-28th-2019-1200-pm-0200-pm-54508 
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Joseph Weller

The Telegraph - Too frightened to urinate in public? You're not alone. October 2019

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https://www.telegraph.co.uk/health-fitness/mind/men-secret-toilet-anxiety-common-think/ 
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Joseph Weller

The Sun - Shy Bladder Syndrome Article July 2019

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Meet the men so terrified of peeing in public they turn down jobs and won't leave their houses. https://www.thesun.co.uk/news/9446655/men-terrified-peeing-public-shy-bladder-syndrome-paruresis-public/
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Joseph Weller

British Medical Association's (BMA) Patient Information Awards 2019

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UK Paruresis Trust are delighted that their website was recently rated Highly Commended in the British Medical Association's (BMA) Patient Information Awards 2019. The awards were established in 1997 to encourage excellence in the production and design of health information resources for patients. Judges from the BMA assessed how health professiona...
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Joseph Weller

Going in Front of Strangers or Friends

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Many sufferers of paruresis tell us they often find it harder to go to the toilet when they are out or with people they know than with strangers. The issue suggests we worry a great deal about what our friends, family and acquaintances think of us; perhaps more so than strangers. Paruresis or "shy bladder syndrome" affects sufferers by making it di...
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Joseph Weller

Has Paruresis Affected Your Choice of Career?

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When you suffer from paruresis (or shy bladder syndrome), the everyday activity of going to the toilet can turn into a minefield. Many sufferers avoid having to use public or shared bathrooms by cutting down on how much they drink or making an extra effort to time bathroom visits carefully so that they are the only ones using it. But paruresis migh...
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Joseph Weller

T's Story

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Having looked at the forums and known about the UKPT workshops for around five years, I finally built up the courage to attend a beginners workshop last week.So many people seem to say this of the workshops that it seems like a bit of cliche, however, it is true. I do wish I had done this earlier.I have suffered from AP for nearly 20 years. I have ...
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Joseph Weller

Bernard's Story

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Living With Avoidance Paruresis Avoidance Paruresis is the medical term for a condition known as shy bladder. This condition effects a persons ability to urinate while out socialising in public places or in many instances in the persons own home while others are present.I have lived with this condition since childhood but only recently discovered t...
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