Christmas can be a tricky time. I'm sure you don't need me to point that out. Just as paruresis (shy bladder syndrome) makes daily life more complicated, at Christmas time it can be even more complicated.
If you have paruresis you quite probably don't really enjoy social events such as office parties, shopping trips, family get togethers, carol services, or concerts. Events where there is lots of food and drink, and where you're expected to be joyful and full of Christmas spirit can be extremely difficult. You're probably thinking such things as...
"How can I get away without drinking much?"
"Where will it be safe to pee so that no-one will see or hear me?"
"How can I sneak out to pee with no-one spotting me?"
"Suppose there's a queue for the toilet cubicles?"
Is that what last Christmas was like for you?
Is that what this Christmas will be like?
And next Christmas…?
I'm sure you're familiar with that old Christmas favourite by Charles Dickens, A Christmas Carol. It's the story of a selfish, unhappy man who transformed himself into a kinder character after being visited by three spirits; the Ghost of Christmas Past, the Ghost of Christmas Present, and the Ghost of Christmas Yet to Come. What was your Christmas Past like? Stressed? Anxious? Avoiding people and places? Most people with paruresis will be familiar with that, but perhaps you could be kinder to yourself so that your Christmas Present will be a little easier.
Try to slow down. Take time to relax. Say "no" if you really don't want to do something. You don't have to give a reason. These days you can probably do a lot of your Christmas shopping online, but maybe try to go out for a few things, so that you don't avoid public places altogether. Choose a time when the shops won't be too busy. The Saturday before Christmas isn't the best time. Late one afternoon could be much better if you're able to do that. Be kind to yourself. Treat yourself to a coffee and a mince pie in a nice café. While you're there, visit their toilet. Maybe you'll pee, maybe you won't, but the chances are that everyone else will be so busy, that no-one will notice or care how long you're in there. That way your Christmas Present might be better than your Christmas Past.
And what about your Christmas Yet to Come? What will Christmas 2025 look like for you?
The UK Paruresis Trust workshop dates for 2025 have just been announced. Have you ever thought about coming along to a workshop? Read what other workshop attendees have said about their workshop experience.
2025 could be the year you beat your paruresis and turn your Christmas Past nightmares into the best Christmas present you could give yourself.
Visit the UKPT website for more information about how paruresis affects people. Find out how other people have overcome their paruresis.
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