Dealing with setbacks

It happens to everyone in all walks of life. Things are going well and you're succeeding at everything you're striving towards. Then, suddenly, things don't go to plan. An unexpected setback throws your confidence, and next thing you know you're in the midst of self-doubt.

This may well be familiar to people who have been on a UK Paruresis Trust workshop to learn how to beat their shy bladder syndrome.

Commonly we hear that people make great progress on the workshop and they leave feeling positive and confident for the challenge ahead. For many, the path to freedom from paruresis will continue, but perhaps not in the straight upward direction they'd been hoping for.

Be assured that this is normal. We all have days where our recovery feels more like a roller coaster. It may not be anything directly to do with our ability to pee. There may be outside stressors, such as family, work or money worries. All these things could mean that your anxiety level is higher than is comfortable for you. This can have a profound effect on your body in all sorts of ways, including the ability to pee on demand.

Recently, a gentleman posted on the UKPT Forum to tell us about his setback experience. For 10 years he'd been largely fine with few paruresis problems, but the setback came out of the blue. He rationalised it and dealt with it, confident that it would be in the past very soon.

As you recover from paruresis you need your body to be in two essential states – a low anxiety level and a high fluid level in your bladder. Unless both of these are present, you may struggle to pee in places that challenge you.

If you visit a toilet and find yourself unable to pee, you might find yourself tempted to reduce the amount you drink so that you'll be less likely to need to pee. But that will also reduce your ability to pee. You need to do the opposite and drink sufficient amounts, so that you will have an increased urge to pee. Don't avoid that toilet in the days to come. Just carry on.Remember to do your relaxation and positive thinking exercises, and the chances are that your temporary inability to pee will become nothing more than a bump on the road to recovery.

It can take willpower to keep going through a setback but be assured that you'll emerge stronger. You will have learned a valuable lesson and increased your resilience to deal with setbacks in the future.

If you want to read more about dealing with setbacks take a look at How to deal with setbacks.

Visit the UKPT website for more information about how paruresis affects people. Find out how other people have overcome their paruresis.

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