Online camming with other sufferers.


I've only found this site today and have read all the information but intend to as time allows.

I've been suffering from this since my schooldays (50 years) and it has stopped me from doing so much and enjoying so much over the years. I've read previously elsewhere about having a pee buddy to help each other. Not sure how/where to find one. Has anyone tried online camming with others when peeing (one watches while the other pees or both try and pee at the same time?) and if so is there anywhere to find such buddies and does it help with moving to the next step?

#1430 by Colin

Hi Colin

Glad you have found our website. There is a lot of useful information and help available.

If it were not for Covid restrictions, we would be running our weekend residential workshops, which use the CBT approach as designed by psychologists. However as we cannot run those we are ruining one day virtual workshops using Zoom, and there is one this coming Saturday. If you look on the website at the menu item "Workshops" you will see how to book on to it. I really recommend you do so. We have been running workshops since 2003, over 100 so far, and they are successful.

The virtual workshops depends on having a laptop using Zoom, on which the workshop leader is effectively a visual buddy. Note that the buddy does NOT watch the other peeing, because that is not what happens in real life. The laptop s alway turned away; it is the presence of another person that is the trigger of anxiety.

The process of graduated desensitisation is effective, especially when managed by an experienced person, as the workshop leaders are. They have all had, or still have, paruresis themselves.

For that reason we do not allow this forum to be used to find a pee buddy. For obvious reasons two strangers hooking up to do virtual peeing is open to abuse. As a charity we have a reputation to protect; hence the ban.

So do get back with questions; feel free to tell your story; but above all get onto this Saturday's virtual workshop



#1431 by andrew

Hi Andrew

Thank you for your quick reply. What you say makes absolute sense and I can understand your reasons for not promoting this method. The presence but not watching also makes good sense as you say as this mirrors what happens in a urinal.

Sadly I can't make the session on Saturday but will look out for future ones.

I will tell you a bit of my story as you have asked which I am sure will be similar to many others.

My first memories of issues were when I was 11-12 and throughout senior school it was an issue. At play time I would always head to the "quiet" toilets at the opposite end of the school and use the cubicles. This became more and more of an issue and my first major adult experience was whenI had to have a medical at my Doctors for my first job and produce a urine sample and pass it through the hatch. I couldn't do it causing great embarrassment. Through my adult life I have always avoided difficult situations by avoidance of going to certain events/places. Always heading straight for a cubicle but that has then caused comments on a few occasions of people saying I was shy and why have I gone in there.

There have been occasions where I have had no alternative but to use a urinal and on some occasions I have managed something even just a dribble and other times pretended to go then headed back when quiet. If out somewhere I find myself looking at the toilet area clocking people going in then out to work out when it's likely to be empty. Sometimes when not desperate I will go to the urinal if there is nobody around and this is often successful with the knowledge that I can go later if I want.

In 50 years of living with this I have only told one person (my 2nd wife) about three years ago who has been understanding. Thanks

#1432 by Colin
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