Hello, Any Advice?

Thanks Andrew.

I spoke to my doctor today and she wants me to go for more tests. She is saying it might be an over active bladder, which I told her it really isn't. My stress levels have been through the roof today worrying about what happens when I get this catheter out on weds. I'm extremely worried that I might end up back in the hospital or having a catheter in long term is going to be my life. I've tried talking about this to my parents but they don't really understand it. My friends are supportive and say that I shouldnt worry but I do. I'm absolutely terrified of it. I need to just take my mind off it and relax I think.


#1397 by chris

Hi Chris

You definitely do not need an in-dwelling catheter.Go to this page of our website: www.ukpt.org.uk/paruresis-information-fo...eneral-practitioners

Go to the section on catheters, click on the link and print off the article from the magazine called Professional Nurse. Take that with you and if it is suggested you have an in-dwelling catheter, polite refuse it and request disposable catheters, and show them the article, pointing out that the nurses promote that method of controlling one's urinary problems.

Anticipation of something is often more frightening that the act itself; hence the advice to "face your fear and do it anyway." Intermittent self-catheterisation is routinely used by a whole range of people without any problems whatsoever.

You can do this; life will be much easier that way.



#1398 by andrew

Hi, Just an update. Since i had the Catheter out I've had nothing but bad days. I think I'm at my lowest that I've ever felt. My girlfriend has had to give me her house 2 nights in order that i have somewhere completely private otherwise I am unable to go. I feel absolutely useless and i'm waking up in terror anytime I fall asleep. Today is a real bad day, I Live with my parents and i have not been able to go. Its been around 12 hours now. They are not even in the house and I am not even feeling the urge. I'm really at the end of my tether now. I know you have mentioned self catherterisation but I am extremely squimish and I absolutely hated the inter dwelling one. I don't want to get that again but I feel i have no options now. Sorry for being so negative but my stress levels are through the roof and I'm really worried and contemplating my next move

#1405 by chris

Hi Chris
I fully understand your hating the in-dwelling catheter. My understanding is that the one-off catheters are different: for one thing there is not the balloon that is used to keep an in-dwelling one in place. Can you focus on the benefit that you will be able to empty your bladder at will? It only takes a minute or so, and then you have hours of relief. And when you experience having control again, your anxiety levels will drop massively. Honestly there are plenty guys using them intermittently what no problems. The anticipation is the issue here; focus on he end result: man empty bladder.
Let me know if it woful help to talk on the phone.

#1406 by andrew

BTW Chris
If it would help to be able to talk about anything, email me on the email address in the Contacts page, and we can set up a phone call, or a Zoom chat.

#1410 by andrew

Chris I as well as hundreds of others have complete empathy for what your going through ,the sweating as your body tries to get rid of the excess fluid,the feeling of light headed ness as your brain reacts against the problem and of course the pain as your bladder is completely filled ,then when you reach a relatively safe toilet you still can’t go as your bladder sphincter has gone into spasm and is refusing to open .Andrew is completely right when he points you towards self catheterisation consult your doctor who should then get you a referral to a nurse who will teach you how to do it hygienically .I have found most doctors and nurses are very sympathetic to the problem although I once encountered a urology doctor who demanded to know the name of the doc that prescribed catheters to me as he was going to report him to the B.M.A.His closing comment was”You can either pee or you can’t pee there is no in between”.Thankfully these dinosaurs are diminishing.Andrew is right when he said no pain is involved ,it does feel a bit funny when you first try it but you will be amazed how easily the catheter moves up to the bladder ,you will then encounter an obstruction ,the sphincter to the bladder but a little push usually gets you through it,the nurse may ask you to cough as you push as this sometimes helps.Then low and behold the bladder will start to completely empty,a lovely feeling .So do the maths Chris a minute or two feeling a bit funny against hours of total agony ,it’s a no brainer really.There you have it a get out of jail card that releases you from your self imposed anti social prison.Ps keep the catheter in your sock under your trousers and nobody knows your carrying it.

#1415 by Roy
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