Nice write up, sir!
If you thought of the first incident you mentioned as a setback then think of your recent success at the toilet as a setforward to a mental & physical positive future.
1 year 6 days ago
Anonymous
I just wanted to share a recent experience. First some background. Years ago using urinals could set off a panic attack in me. Cubicles were ok most of the time but not always. I increasingly used alcohol to deal with the problem in social situations and just limited fluid intake in situations where I could not drink alcohol.
I trained in counselling and CBT and was able to largely overcome my paruresis. Urinals are no longer a problem even if there is 20 people in the toilet with people stood either side of me.
I made a video series of the process I used which is shared on the UK paruresis site and on you tube.
In the last 10 years bladder lock has been very rare for me and in the last 2 years I had zero occurances and zero avoidance.
But a few weeks ago I experienced bladder lock at a sports stadium despite it being somewhere I visit weekly with no problem. I had been a bit anxious about something unrelated and background anxiety can play a part. The following week the same happened again. Years ago this would have really affected me and I would have returned to avoidance, safety behaviours or alcohol. But I know that is a slippery slope. So the following week instead of drinking less water like I used to, I drank more to make sure I would need to use the toilet.
When the need was sufficiently strong (but not uncomfortable) I visited the toilet. Success. No bladder lock. Although it wasn't quite as busy as the previous time there were around 10 people in there. I will continue to use this toilet when busy and I know that within a few weeks I will be back on track and will probably go another year or two before it happens again.
You see paruresis is a lifetime condition but if you persevere and don't give in to avoidance and safety behaviours it can become a very small and unimportant part of your life.
For those in the earlier stages of recovery I hope this will help motivate you to keep working on it and help you deal with setbacks.
