Personal History

I'm so glad that I have found this website, having been directed via a similar US version.
Just having a read through the forum has had a positive effect on me.
Being a 23 year old, I thought I would be the only 'crazy' one in the country with this.
I feel that it all started for me during secondary school, fear of being pushed or harrassed at the urinals drove me into the cubicals, from which I have never emerged. The effect this has on my social life really takes its toll on me, sporting events and festivals now require a lot more planning and excuses. (I still go, but I just spend my time thinking how I'll sneak to the toilet alone so that I don't get caught using a cubical again!) It's even worse with family as my brother and dad have no issues in this department.
Using the urinals at work is a big no no unless I've worked late and no I won't be interrupted. Even then I'm constantly listening for people coming in.
I think I'm going to try gradually building myself up. But I would appreciate any advice from you all.

#167 by APuser14

It is good to get it of your chest.
I suffered for years thinking I was the only bloke who could not pee.
I would hate it when a friend or family member would tag a long, when I had just got the courage to go to the toilet while out.
I would think why me why are they following me!
I then read this forum and it did help.
I attended a beginner's and also 2 follow up workshops.
I still find it difficult at times but it is on my terms now I am in control!
If I cant pee I wait and go back It may take some time but no one is counting.
Urinals were a big no for me however I have pushed myself and practiced and can now go about 75% of the time.
Practice dose help to overcome the fear that we get.
Good luck!

#168 by Paul

Hey!

Bet you are glad to realise you ain't alone!

I appreciate how difficult this must be for you (as I am only 2 years older than you!) and I want to start off by saying 'well done' for reaching out.

Are you in the UK? If so, have you considered attending one of the UKPT's Beginners workshops?

I recently attended the Glasgow one (there's a thread in the forum) and found this to be a positive experience by not only giving me the chance to meet other people who have this problem but to learn more about this condition. I believe knowledge is power in overcoming shybladder.

You mentioned your Dad/Brother not having this issue- have you been able to confide in anyone off-line? E.g. family members,friends, healthcare professional etc?


D

#169 by DavidB93

Hi APuser14,
Could you read and inwardly digest (!) the page on this website called Components of a CBT Based Approach. Also the one about urinal etiquette. That is because you probably have some beliefs that are wrong and need to be corrected. Then come back to this forum with any queries, or email me on the support email address. The main things to remember are:
- peeing to others is totally a non-event, so they are NOT interested in your peeing;
- secondly any practicing you do should be in small increments of challenge starting from a safe base, repeating at each level until you feel you can go most of the time - don't rush it - don't jump in the deep end; - thirdly about half of the guys who don't have this condition have trouble peeing from time to time and they call it stage fright, so accept that it is OK for you to misfire for time to time also. They just don't beat themselves up about it.
Cheers
Andrew

#170 by andrew
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