Peeing at Public Urinals


I hoping for some help.

I have had this problem for a while now (approx 6-8 Years). I can pee at home, i can pee in front of my wife at home, I can pee in a cubical (sometimes if it’s open). I can even pee at a urinal if no one is around. The main problem I have is peeing next to someone at a urinal and or a troff if it is busy. I’ve figured out if I’ve started peeing and someone comes next to me, I can finish no problem unless I haven’t started already.

I am a confident person who isn’t embarrassed about his size or even creating sounds, I just can’t figure out why I can’t pee at a urinal with someone next to me?!?

Any suggestions would be appreciated.

#81 by Dean

HI Dean,
I hope you don't mind: I moved your posting into the men's forum where it really belongs.
The reason you cant pee in those situations is that your subconscious for whatever reasons feels outside its comfort zone. So you need to get it used to that by small increments. Look for a large public toilet that is relatively quiet, i.e.not heaving, and preferably one that has screens between the urinals. Use a urinal that is as far away as possible from other people. Allow yourself plenty of time: its not a race; you can take as long as you want. Allow yourself to misfire as well; after all you are pushing the boundaries of your comfort zone. It may take several attempts to reduce your subconscious anxiety down to a level where it allows peeing to happen. Repeat peeing is such a situation till it feels comfortable. Then start again but this time use a smaller separation. You do not need to aim to pee next to someone, as gap of one empty urinal is still OK. When you can do this find a large toilet that is quiet and has no screens. After that a smaller toilet with screens and so on. You will know when you can introduce busyness. But the overriding method is baby steps, and repetition.
Does that make sense?

#82 by andrew

That’s great, thanks so much for your reply.

My biggest concern was that others have stated they can’t go in cubicles as well although I don’t have that problem, hence why I thought it was another reason.

I have to admit, I do try and rush when I’m by myself and I’m guessing this counter acts it and actually slows it down.

Would you suggest headphones, listening to music? Or would you say that sound isn’t to do with it?

#84 by Dean

Hi Dean, yes do not rush; the Americans call public toilets "Restrooms". Think of it as a place where you can have a short break from the busyness of life. Also you can't make yourself pee, just be in position and let the body do what come naturally in its own time: sometimes if wills tart quickly, at other times it will take longer - who cares?
As for earphones, try without them at first; if going with maximum separation proves difficult, introduce earphones. You can then reduce loudness of earphones in stages til yo find you can do without them.
As to whether sound has anything to do with it, everyone is different: you wont find out what affects you till you try it.

#85 by andrew
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