There are two sphincters: the internal sphincter is under your subconscious control. That’s the one that closes in a situation deemed threatening to your subconscious. The other, the external sphincter is under your conscious control; that’s the one you keep closed to not wet your pants, and relax to let go. Cos guys with paruresis have had to hang on for ages so many times, something non-paruretics rarely need to do, it gets overdeveloped. So you have to consciously relax it. You do this by clenching it: how? By clenching your arse as if to hold in a fart, and relax it. Practice that clench unclench. I do it each time I pee. Andrew
6 years 1 month ago