Hi,
Well done for recognising the problem and deciding to do something about it. I left it until my late 20s.
Like you I sometimes find stalls a problem if others are in close proximity, and like you it's the thought that they can hear me that can make things difficult - actually like places with piped music for that reason! I suppose the thing to remember is that nobody else cares what you're doing or judges you for it, they're just focussed on whatever they're there for. One coping strategy I have when feeling anxious is noise cancelling headphones and some music that makes me feel good to shut everything out.
I work in a large office where there are about 6 fully enclosed gender-neutral cubicles and no urinals. When I was younger I used to hold it in until I got home, these days I drink as much as possible and make sure I go several times a day. I still have the odd 'misfire' even in the enclosed cubicles if others are nearby but I don't beat myself up about it and just come back ten minutes later. I don't advertise my situation but I'd be open to it with the right people if the subject ever came up.
Best of luck!
8 months 4 weeks ago