Can't pee at urinals with other people around

Hi, as the title says I'm looking for advice.

So ever since around puberty I haven't been able to pee when other people are around, I can go into a stall and be fine but seeing people next to me while I'm peeing makes it so I just can't pee. I constantly try but it ends up with me pretending I'm peeing then having to just leave the bathroom so people don't judge me (anxiety of it I guess).

Is there anything I can do to help with it? I've never been able to pee next to people in a urinal and its nothing really bad its just a big inconvenience.

#373 by Matt

HI Matt

First of could you look a the thread "What can I do to progress", and let me know what you think.

The main thing is to wean yourself gently by starting in a large quiet toilet, preferably with dividers, so you can leave plenty of room between you and anyone else. Even then, start by "faking" which means doing everything but have a pee, so you can get used to the environment. Repeat the faking several times. Then when the surroundings feel OK, go for pee. allow yourself plenty of time to start a flow; it's not a race.

This means finding a toilet in a shopping mall at a quiet time, or a motorway services. Yes it means putting aside time to "train" yourself.

You say "so people don't judge me." That wont happen cos people are not interested in others peeing; to them peeing is off the scale for uneventful; akin to blowing their nose. So ignore them as they will ignore you. A friend tested this by faking for 20 minutes and gave up out of sheer boredom; no-one reacted at all.

Cheers

Andrew

#375 by andrew

I suffer exactly the same problem mate, I’m not a shy person at all these days but I am still pee shy, it just seems so personal to me, I can’t understand how so many guys are scared shitless of letting another guy see their dick in a changing room etc - this doesn’t bother me at all - but have no problem peeing surrounded by other guys.
I think the fear for me is probably two fold, firstly that I might not be seen as manly enough if I can’t just flop it out and pee in front of the lads and secondly that guys might think I’m in the toilets cruising for sex if I’m just standing at the urinal with nothing coming out....l both of which make the problem worse of course.
As you say, it doesn’t ruin your whole life but it can be really embarrassing standing waiting for a cubicle for ages when there’s urinals free, trying to go failing, bursting with a full bladder and having to pop into the bog every 15 minutes for another try and desperately trying to avoid going to the big at the same time as any mates particularly.
Wonder if I should try and find a shy pee buddy to try and overcome it with, lol!

#487 by Ollie
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