Reply: Unable to go even at home

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Topic History of: Unable to go even at home

Max. showing the last 6 posts - (Last post first)

  • Roy

Just to add to what I said before John if you get the catheter up to the sphincter try coughing and push.Coughing momentarily relaxes the sphincter

  • Anonymous

Hi John, sounds like you were nearly there.The common size of a catheter is 12 and these days are self lubricating .From what you say it sounds like your sphincter is all tensed up and is rejecting the catheter .Try it again and when you get to the sphincter try and relax your body,think of nice things and gently push the catheter through the sphincter.Easy for me to say that but I have had those problems in the past

  • cielodog

Hi John,
Sorry to hear about your problems.
As a fellow paruretic, I’ve learned that becoming familiar and confident with the use of a cath. as the ultimate ‘get out of jail card’ has been invaluable for me. It also reduced the overall level of anxiety knowing I would never be ‘trapped’.
If you can approach the prospect of learning the technique again, it would be a great way to build confidence.
It seems that you had a bad time with the procedure. I expect many elements combined on the day
that got in the way. It’s really more than about passing a tube into the bladder; your level of anxiety, and the demeanour and approach of the professionals greatly influence the outcome.
On a practical note, modern Caths are self lubricating and discreet.
Take a look:
Do let me know how you get on!
Best, TonyG

  • Anonymous

Thanks, Andrew for getting back to me. ISC was attempted by a trained nurse who was unable to insert the catheter, even though they used lots of gel, they just couldn't get the catheter past the sphincter. The urologist who authorised the start of the ISC training confirmed that physiologically there isn't any blockage and also carried out ultrasound and IVP procedures. As a result, I was referred to a psychologist who in the past has helped. More recently have suffered a third bout of depression due to this issue, I've been referred for CBT support. At present, I wouldn't be able to pee in a hotel bedroom but would be interested in learning more about any alternative approaches. Plus, I think I would benefit from being part of a community and able get to know and talk to other men who suffer from this condition.

Am I Ok to contact directly via the general e-mail address?

  • andrew

Yes and no. To come on a workshop you need to be able to pee in your hotel bedroom when you are alone. If you could not do that, you obviously would not attend. If you can do that, then the workshop can help you. Someone with that level of severity is dealt with separately from less severe sufferers; without going into detail, the approach is to deal with the anxiety of just being there, however long that takes, before even considering any desensing. And even then, the decision to move on is entirely yours.

But its worth looking at “those who have attempted ISC but found it impossible to pass a catheter.”

If this is due to a blockage or stricture impeding the catheter, then a urologist should be seen to investigate and remedy the blockage.

If you have obtained catheters and not been shown by a trained nurse how to use one, then you should do so: either at the GP surgery or at a urology clinic. There is a specific technique to it, which it takes a trained person to explain.

If you have been shown how to do it, but it is squeamishness, akin to a fear of needles, that stops you, then seek help to find a graduated way of approaching it. There is an understandable nervousness that insertion is going to hurt; but it should not. As for possible pain, it is feasible to use an anaesthetic gel smeared into the meatus (the opening you pee out of). I had a cystoscopy (aka bladder scope) with gel to investigate an issue with the bladder: I did not feel a thing apart from a “bump” as it went through the sphincter. Once you have inserted a catheter that way, you can then approach inserting it without the gel.

If you have tried inserting it and it hurt badly, the technique is wrong. It should slide in smoothly and pain-free. Users state that the worst is some stinging when you next pee without the catheter; but they say this is nothing compared to the pain of not being able to empty their bladder.

Finally catheters come in a range of diameters, to cater for the range of urethral diameters. I assume that if the cath is the wrong diameter, that could impact on the ease of its sliding in. There are also at least two types of tip, which apparently you can try out to see which is best for you.

So I hope you can take heart that there is a population of guys out there who use catheters either regularly or as a back-up, and do so with no issues. There are meant to work smoothly, so go and seek help to resolve your particular issue.


  • Anonymous

Does the workshop also cater to those who have attempted ISC but found it impossible to pass a catheter?

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