Reply: Life and Paruresis

Hi David

Sorry you are having a real problem with spraying when peeing. One answer to this is to use a cubicle and to sit to pee; after all you have a medical issue which justifies it. Incidentally sitting to pee is common in Germany: the men are under pressure from the housewives to do so to minimise mess in the bathroom. So much so that there is even a verb for it: sitzpilken.

Squatting/sitting to pee is also common in Muslim circles: based on the Prophet Muhammad being seen to distance himself from his companions and squatting to pee.

The point of telling you all this is to show that it is not uncommon.

If you would like to follow this up more privately, and possibly address the other issues as well, get in touch with me via the support email address under Contacts. It would be good to get you to where you feel you could leave the house again.

Cheers

Andrew

Hi David. I'm James and have just discovered this group / forum after a lot of years suffering from shy bladder syndrome. I never knew it had a name until last week. I have similar issues, maybe not quite as bad in terms of having accidents. Although on a recent plane journey I was trying to pee and couldn't, I probably tried to force it too much and ended up dribbling and wetting myself. Not much I could do about it on the plane but nobody noticed fortunately. I also have a medical condition called Kallmann's Syndrome, from my teenage years I would never use a urinal and always use cubicals, for fear of someone judging me by my size. If you fancy a chat let me know.

Hi David
Andrew from the UKPT here. Glad you felt able to unload in this forum; its what it is for. Your life sounds difficult and unhappy. Let’s have a phone call about it all; I can then help you move forward. Email me at the support address in the Contacts tab on our website.
Cheers
Andrew

Hi folks,

Been a while since I posted on these forums, hope everyone is doing well.

I just felt the need to vent somewhere as I’m getting really down with how low my quality of life is- and this condition also contributes to this.

Previously I’ve attended a workshop and thankfully I’m now aware of this community- which is amazing knowing I’m not alone with this condition.

I’m just feeling really sad about how much this condition/some of my other health problems have taken away opportunities from me to do things in life.

I feel so restricted by it and angry how it controls so much, I’m barely able to leave home anymore due to it all, and I feel as if life is passing me by.

Don’t get me wrong, I try to be grateful for everything that I do have, but it’s so hard to see others on social media etc living life and having fun in social settings.

One of my issues was I had problems with spraying whilst peeing, so much so that I had a circumcision thinking it might help- it helped with some issues I had but not the spraying- I feel it’s actually made it worse to the point I’m now frequently getting covered in urine sometimes and requiring to change. I mentioned this to the urologist during my procedure who looked and seen no obstruction to my urethra so there’s nothing they can do. I’m only 31 and it’s honestly devastating living a life like this.


On top of it all, because a lot of professionals aren’t aware of this condition, I feel they don’t really appreciate and/or understand the impact living with this condition has. I’ve even had some make jokes about having this condition which is soul destroying.

I’m extremely grateful for the UKPT and everything they do to raise awareness and help people with this issue.

Even just being able to post this message helps knowing there is a community of people who can relate to it.


David