Reply: What can I do to progress ?

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  • andrew

Hello Pierre

I am sorry for the delay in replying to you 

The main issue is that the toilet is too small for the urinal desensing you want to do. Ideally you need to find a large public toilet, that is quiet, and has dividers between the urinals. Your desensing plan would be to leave a gap between you and the other person. If there is someone there when you enter, go for maximum separation. If it is empty, you will find that the next person will not stand next to you, but instead l stand further away.

There are two components to work on: separation, and dividers. So you gradually reduce separation. Then look for a large quiet toilet without dividers, and start again with maximum separation.

Finally do not aim to be able to stand immediately next to someone, with no gap; most men like to leave a gap. If the toilet is busy and you cannot get a gap between you and another person, then use a cubicle. Many men do this.

A second point, when someone comes in, it is normal for the stream to slow down and even stop. The trick is to calm yourself down: deep slow breathing, and a positive thought about the stranger being “sympa”, and give yourself plenty of time to restart the stream.

Thirdly: on small toilets with only two urinals, it is common for one man to use a urinal and the other the cubicle.

I hope this help



  • Pierre


I have a problem with urinating in public places. I've been practicing desensing for about two years and I have made significant progress. Every day, I practice going into a bathroom (at work) and here is what I am able to do :

If someone is there :
- I can pee sitting down in a cubicle almost always.
- I can sometimes pee standing up in a cubicle but not all the time.
- I am not able to pee in a urinal

If no one is there :
- I can pee in a cubicle sitting down or standing up.
- I can sometimes pee in a urinal - and I thought that I would never be able to do that ever

My goal is to be able to always go in a urinal but I am struggling to make more progress.
When I enter the bathroom, if someone is there I always go in a cubicle because the bathroom is too small for me to 'fake pee' without it being noticed. If no one is there I go at a urinal and I sometimes pee. But if someone enters, it stops after a few seconds, even if I'm not finished, so I leave.

I try to be in this situation where someone enters while I am peeing, because it feels like a victory when it happens, but I don't know how to go on peeing while they are in the bathroom.

Do you have an idea of a step by step desensing protocole that I could use ?

Thank you very much for your help.

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