I am new hear, I have suffered with shy bladder for 28 years.... when I was 14 i was attacked at a urinal.... its now to a point where I get anxious about where toilets are with cubicles. I really want and need to get over this. I feel so alone, my partner and my friends can all pee wherever, and I either need a quiet urinal or a cubicle... it just makes me feel emasculated.... any support welcome

Hi Jono

Glad you have found us. At last you are in touch with people who have been what you have been through, understand fully what you are saying and, just as important, have improved to the point where the condition does not impact their lives anymore.

This charities run by volunteers who have all had, or still have mildly, paruresis.

The way forward is to get onto one of our workshops. These are led by our volunteers, and have been designed with a "toe in the water" approach; no "diving in the deep end". We have run over 170 since 2003, and have helped over 850 individuals.

Look on our website under the Workshop tab; that will tell you more about the workshops.

Feel free to to come back with questions, and also feel free to tell us more about your story if you wish.

Together we can get you to a better place.

All the best

Andrew
Chair of UKPT

Great thank you I will look at the workshops...

so it started when I was 14, when i was using a urinal, three older lads grabbed me mid stream, and dragged me to a cubicle... I was petrified, covered in Pee.... since then, I just cant do it.. it feels worse now as my partner is also a guy, and has no issues, so would like to just pee freely when needed...

Hi Jono
Your experience is a classic trauma that triggers paruresis. We have had several guys who went through a similar experience. The good thing about a workshop is the “toe in the water” approach, where you are totally in control.
The November Beginners workshop in Reading still has places available, so get yourself booked on to guarantee a place. If necessary you can cancel the booking later.
Anything else I can help with?
Cheers
Andrew

Hi, I’ve suffered this most of my life, I’m now 65 and go into a right panic when invited to pubs restaurants etc. are there any workshops in the north west anytime soon? Cheers

Hi

Glad you have found us, as we can help you move forward. Having said that unfortunately there is only one workshop left this year: that is the Beginners in Reading on 7-9 November, where there is only one space left. Can you make it? Its easy to get to by train as the hotel is only five minutes from the station.

The schedule for 2026 is not available yet.

Feel free to share your story here, its quite safe.

All the best

Andrew.