Hello people,
I've had a look at some of some of the messages posted here and thought I'd describe my experiences to give people a little bit of hope. Having had paruresis most of my days, as well as having attended UKPT workshops, I'm at a level where I can use urinals providing there's nobody else using them. Otherwise I'll go into a cubicle if I'm in a rush. I used to be a lot worse than that in the past.

I was supposed to be starting a job in Europe where it would have been a big help to be able to go to the toilet normally. I spent three months "desensing" in public toilets leading up to it. I would aim to do it five days a week, and it would usually take an hour of my day going to and fro locations as well as desensing. The way I would do it is like this: find a town or shopping centre with at least three public toilets and do a circuit of them aiming to get at least 8 rep's in per session. Getting plenty of water in and waiting at the urinals for however long as it takes to start.

Unfortunately the job fell through, and I stopped desensing, though I felt like I was one month away from overcoming the problem. I started back desensing last week again and I have regressed back a bit. I aim to get back on track by the end of next week.

Here are some tips that I feel have helped me:
You want to find what I call a 'complex layout' toilet. That is the easiest one to start with. You're looking for a toilet that is not a big open plan, ideally the sinks with be sectioned off from the urinals and they'll have screens between them. Anything that gives you a slight element to privacy is better for starting off. This is always one you can fall back to on your toilet circuit, and it is good to have more difficult smaller or more open toilets to progress on to.

Over the first two weeks you will likely feel that you're making next to no progress and that it's a waste of time. Stick with it. You will suddenly make some progress and with it you will feel like a king.

You will want to get regular practice in. When I desense once or twice a week it takes a very long time to see a benefit. Make it like brushing your teeth or going to the gym - part of a daily routine that you just do normally.

The more I need the toilet the easier it is to go when I do this. If you're having trouble going, get more fluids in.

When I'm at the urinal or toilet I breathe out and try and relax all my abdominal and upper body muscles, focusing on the muscles around the bladder, trying to feel them getting more and more relaxed. Once I've relaxed as much as I can over ten seconds, if I've not started yet, I'll give my bladder muscles a squeeze and kind of push, and that usually gets me started. The more I need to go, the easier it is.

One thing I've noticed is that around a third to half of the people I see going to public toilets use the cubicles. I think this problem is a lot more common than people realise.

For anyone in Scotland, the best training area I've found is the Livingston shopping centre. It's a big place with about six public toilets of varying difficulty that you can do a circuit round. The easiest one is perfect - a big row of urinals on a corridor layout are completely separated from the sinks. They're split into two sections with big screens between them, as well as plenty of hand drier background noise. If I have regressed a bit that is one place I can always get started again.

I used to be awful with this, I'd be out for a walk in the woods, then I'd walk about ten minutes deeper into the forest in case somebody saw me going to relieve myself. Now I can go at the side of the road. It doesn't matter how bad you are, you can make progress, and the first step is booking yourself on to a workshop. It's probably the best thing I done for this.