Posted by Bob on 14/6/2010, 8:16 pm, in reply to "Re: Relax"
Steve, you say that whereas climbers have a skill ingrained into them, you have a fear ingrained into you.
I can totally 100% sympathise with this view point, but the first step is to note that your fears are irrational, then you can identify these fears and then try to relax - rather than trying to force yourself to go and through this get more wound up - resulting in it being impossible to urinate.
I have been desensing and doing CBT for a while now and usually I can now go with no problems, but every so often I find myself in awkward situations and unable to go, but I find if I am relaxed and dont treat it as a problem - I treat it as a stepping stone, or a lesson - I can either wait it out or come back a minute or 2 later.
My point I guess is if you can not stand at a urinal and be relaxed you wont be able to urinate, so perhaps the first thing is to be able to relax and then worry about whether you can or cant go (sorry worry is probably the wrong word there!)
Simon I must say to you Exposure therapy, or CBT, is the way forward. This is where you will walk all the necessary stepping stones to being able to be free of paruresis.
In the time since I first started CBT my life has radically changed and although I still have a way to go, I am already a different person socially and in terms of confidence and happiness.
When I first found this site I would not have imagined being able to type a message such as this, let alone stand next to someone in a toilet, unable to urinate.... Nowadays I dont give a XXXX, I am relaxed about it, and as such it is a tiny inconvience every now and then rather than a constant burden in my life
Good luck to everyone you are in the right place to beat this300
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