Posted by Simon on 27/1/2010, 10:38 pm
I have since this realisation stopped. When I get to a toilet now I really relax and just stand there and count. MY hesitancy is between 12 and 30 seconds.
I think what has made me force myself recently is that I have had a lot on socially-drinks etc and have found myself in some situations quite high up my hierarchy. I have had a pretty good success rate but without the desensing and with so many situations to confront in so short a time its been very full on.
So I found even at home I'd be overthinking and rushing. So now I am deciding when I need to go I will go there, relax and count, rather than force it.
I'm not sure if this the next stage of my recovery or if I have had a set back due to the hierachies I have been faced with in the last couple of weeks. But I guess it goes to show that AP tendency (which I've lived with for about 20 years) of feeling the need to rush and force what should be something that takes no thinking about.
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