This Discussion Board is for women who
find it difficult or impossible to urinate in a public or social situation. Men should use the men's Board.
The Board is maintained and moderated by the
U.K. Paruresis Trust. Registered Charity no: 1109541.
For
further information, visit our website, or contact us at
Hello everyone. This is my first time here so I'll start with telling a bit of my story. I'm 21 years old and have suffered with paruresis for as long as I can remember. It has a huge effect on my life and I find going out with friends pretty hard because I'm always worrying about when i'm going to need to use the bathroom. When I need to go and i'm not at home I find it almost impossible. I try to go and as much as I want to and as much as I tell myself I have nothing to worry about I just cant. I also worry that people notice how long i'm taking in the toilet and how often I am going and it just makes it harder. I give up after a while and try again after a little while but more often than not, still cant go. I end up really uncomfortable because i'm so desperate to go. Many times i've had to leave and go home because i'm in so much pain and discomfort from it. It's the same if i'm at a friends house or just anywhere where I know there are people around. I avoid drinking anything to avoid using the toilet. I find that turning on the tap can sometimes help but this isn't always possible. I've tried talking to my family about it but nobody really understands so I find it difficult. I always thought I was alone and never knew what it was until recently when I decided to type it into google. It's really comforting to know there are people who know what i'm going through.
Anyway I'm hoping someone can give me some advice. A few months back I was supposed to be starting a new job but I had to have a drugs test first. I went for the test but as always I was unable to pee. I drank so much water in the 3 hours I stayed there and my bladder was really full but it just wouldn't come out. I tried running the tap and even tried listening to music through earphones but still I was unable to go. I was so embarrassed when I came out of the toilet multiple times and had to tell them I couldn't go. The job is still available to me and all I need to do is have the drug test. I really need this job but I'm so afraid that it will be a repeat of the last time. Any advice would be greatly appreciated and thank you for reading.
Re: Drug test
Posted by Andrew on 4/9/2014, 5:15 pm, in reply to "Drug test"
Hi Danielle
Thank goodness you have found the UKPT. Your experiences are so like what others have gone through, so take some heart that you are not unique or odd. Please look a the drug test page of our website here: http://www.ukpt.org.uk/drug_testing.htm
If you calmly and firmly insist on your rights, you can win through.
We can provide professional advice/letters which can be useful when dealing with a solicitor or other agency.
Do read our site and brief yourself to be able to respond to those who do not understand by explaining that the body's subconscious reaction to a threat is to "turn off the tap", and that the conscious cannot overide that.
Keep in touch, or email me at the support address at top of page
In fact if you email me your address, I can post you our glossy brochure to be shown to whoever needs to see it.
Andrew Chair UKPT
Re: Drug test
Posted by Ann on 17/9/2014, 8:37 am, in reply to "Re: Drug test"
Hi Danielle - I usually try to make contact when I see new women using the board but we have been away and I missed your post. I'm glad Andrew was able to offer some advice. I have no experience of drug testing I'm afraid so couldn't be much help but I have lots of experience of discretely managing peeing difficulties in the workplace and managed to do so for many years. I do have a bit of a "turning the taps on" habit as you mentioned - it can be very helpful at times can't it but as you point out, it's not always possible so is not a very good way of coping. I find it useful to always carry a bottle of water with me to provide my own running water when needed - doesn't always work but it's helpful at times. I do hope you're managing to sort out your employment - all the best.