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Am I being too hard on myself, I felt I was making progress as I recently managed to take a short flight abroad and successfully used public toilets at the airports. Over the last few days I feel my anxiety has increased again as I am finding it increasingly difficult to use the toilets at work even at home when we've had visitors staying I feel very uncomfortable and can only pee silently. It's taking me a long time to get started despite having a medium/high level of urgency and the longer I take the more anxious I become. I'm so afraid of failing altogether I'm limiting fluids to avoid having to even try and use them.
Hi - sorry I missed this message - I do try to keep an eye on the boards but I've had a lot on.
Please try not to be too hard on yourself. I am now able to travel, as you saw on the other thread, but I have to plan it and I still have times when I unexpectedly just can't manage to pee, even at home if I'm under a lot of stress. I've been doing this long enough now though to know that just because I'm not able to pee on one occasion doesn't mean that I won't on the next. The lack of logic drives me potty but that's the way it is for me.
I still limit fluids when I'm travelling too. Long ago I tried doing the opposite and drinking loads in the hope that I would simply have to pee but oh my goodness that was distastrous for me, although maybe it works for other people. I always take a cysitis treatment with me in case I take it a bit too far and give myself cystitis - that used to happen quite a bit.
I'm an extremely keen traveller and it would grieve me enormously not to be able to travel. You are doing really well to tackle a flight and to use airport toilets which can be daunting. I've had some difficult moments in both but it is possible to find your best ways of dealing with them. Please try not to see this as failure but as one of the twists and turns of living with paruresis.
Hi Thanks for your reply. It's good to know it's quite normal. Glad to say things have improved again over the last week and I am finding it easier to use the toilets at work even though I can only pee silently and am concious of the time - 2 or 3 minutes it can take me to get started despite having a high level of urgency. I accept it's part of learning to live with paruresis and will have to be patient with myself. I'm determined not to let paruresis dominate my life but manage it as best I can. Thanks again.
If it makes you feel any better - I climbed Kilimanjaro in March, but remained utterly unable to use work toilets if anyone was in the next door cubicle or waiting outside. Just retired last week so that's one problem eliminated!