This Discussion Board is for men who
find it difficult or impossible to urinate in a public or social situation. Women should use the women's Board.
The Board is maintained and moderated by the
U.K. Paruresis Trust. Registered Charity no: 1109541.
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further information, visit our website, or contact us at
Hello, I am new and I am glad to have found you, because I have thought for a long time that I am the only one on earth with such a problem. Life with this problem is very frustrating, so most of my time I stay at home. Now I am unemployed and I think my problem was the reason. I worked at a company in an office and there I couldn`t go to the toilet. I couldn`t concentrate at work and during my lunch break I was occupied with finding a suitable and lonesome toilet, so I didn`t eat or drink anything. Greetings from Germany Sandrine
Re: paruresis
Posted by Sandrine on 4/6/2008, 6:37 pm, in reply to "paruresis"
Hello, I am Sandrine from Germany. I have had this problem since I was 18. It started abroad with a French family, we were 8 people in a small flat. There it started that I felt embarrassed when somebody could hear me on the toilet. so I often was waiting until everyone was sleeping. At the same time I lost all my French knowledge and didn`t speak anymore and my inferiority complex started. I felt inferior to everyone who didn`t have this problem. I want to face my problem and I want to overcome my fears and negative thoughts.
Re: paruresis
Posted by Colin on 4/6/2008, 6:45 pm, in reply to "Re: paruresis"
Hello Sandrine You have now found the right place to get all the information you need to start working on reversing your unfortunate situation. Presently you are locked into thinking you will not be able to use a toilet when you need to. This means it is more likely that you will not be able to perform successfully. To overcome your AP , what you need to do is focus on the successful times, and try to push back the negative thoughts. This requires patience. And you need to learn some techniques. Read everything you can from this site, and keep posting your successes and difficulties, so the others who post can help you progress. You have now come to the right place to start your recovery. Good Luck. Colin
Re: paruresis
Posted by Sandrine on 4/6/2008, 7:01 pm, in reply to "Re: paruresis"
Thank you, Colin for your prompt answer. I know the problem is in my head. But there are not so many successful performances only avoidance behaviour, once I was successful before an exam and I had no problem although many otheres where with me, because I was hyper excited and so I was distracted. How can you manage your paruresis? Have you also read books and trained? Here, were I live its difficult to find a female who would train with me.
Re: paruresis in Germany
Posted by Andrew on 4/6/2008, 8:39 pm, in reply to "paruresis"
Hi Sandrine
Do you know that there is a German website and forum. Also that a workshop was held in Mannheim in September 2007.
Hi, Andrew, thank you for this hint, but I am already a member there. But if you don`t mind I would like to broaden my horizons and not to restrict my exchange only to Germany. I think it can only be of advantage to get more information and an exchange of experience and views. I have also read the book "shy bladder" and I would like to exchange opinions with other people who have also read this book.
